“Quickly”, said mum in a stern way.
She grabbed me and nestled me in the box of hay.
My Dad and his friend leaped it the boat. We heard bangs and screams behind us.
As we were paddling along calmer now we heard ripples in the lake my mother turned around
and saw that there was a huge war ship coming right for us.
Without thinking my dad and his friend jumped off the boat. They swam up to the ladder on the
huge
ship they ran over to the
bow and my mum chucked up there spears.
But then a man in a navy uniform came up and shot him through the head.
Suddenly my dad turned around he stabbed the spear through his chest.
Smartley, my dad jumped onto our boat he knew he couldn't have taken them on his own.
We paddled faster now there hand grenades hitting the water.
They couldn't hit us with their hands so they turned to machines. (now imagine this in slow mo.)
one was heading right for our boat my dad grabbed my and passed me to my mum.
She hugged me and jumped into the water in a flash of light the ship was gone.
The army must have thought we were dead because they left us.
My mum swam us to a island and we fell asleep. GRRRR my mother opened one eye.
She noticed that the noises were wolves. She slowly got up. Six pairs of glowing yellow eyes.
One barked she jumped and grabbed me.
The wolves ran after her, she grabbed a huge leave from a palm tree.
Quickly she put me on to it and let it float away. I watched her trying to fight of the wolves.
Then getting dragged away digging her hands into the dirt.
Silently I floated only to be rescued by a family. As a kid I would wonder if she survived.
She grabbed me and nestled me in the box of hay.
My Dad and his friend leaped it the boat. We heard bangs and screams behind us.
As we were paddling along calmer now we heard ripples in the lake my mother turned around
and saw that there was a huge war ship coming right for us.
Without thinking my dad and his friend jumped off the boat. They swam up to the ladder on the
huge
ship they ran over to the
bow and my mum chucked up there spears.
But then a man in a navy uniform came up and shot him through the head.
Suddenly my dad turned around he stabbed the spear through his chest.
Smartley, my dad jumped onto our boat he knew he couldn't have taken them on his own.
We paddled faster now there hand grenades hitting the water.
They couldn't hit us with their hands so they turned to machines. (now imagine this in slow mo.)
one was heading right for our boat my dad grabbed my and passed me to my mum.
She hugged me and jumped into the water in a flash of light the ship was gone.
The army must have thought we were dead because they left us.
My mum swam us to a island and we fell asleep. GRRRR my mother opened one eye.
She noticed that the noises were wolves. She slowly got up. Six pairs of glowing yellow eyes.
One barked she jumped and grabbed me.
The wolves ran after her, she grabbed a huge leave from a palm tree.
Quickly she put me on to it and let it float away. I watched her trying to fight of the wolves.
Then getting dragged away digging her hands into the dirt.
Silently I floated only to be rescued by a family. As a kid I would wonder if she survived.
There is a few spelling mistakes in there but I think your story is good and my favourite part is when you survive.
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